The Spirit of Magnolia

An infertility / adoption / pregnancy blog. After 3 MCs and IF testing (with no diagnosis) we shifted our focus to adoption. After being matched we discovered we were pregnant. After telling our agency about the pregnancy our match was severed. This is the story of our journey to parenthood.

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Location: Minnesota, United States

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Blessed Beyond Measure

Our little bundle of joy decided that she wanted to make her grand entrance almost 5 weeks early!

January 21st
5lb 8z


I've been enjoying motherhood more than I had ever imagined...
I could spend DAYS just staring at her!

Words escape me .... she just takes my breath away! (her Daddy thinks so too!)
She is living proof that miracles do happen!
I thank God everyday for allowing us to be a part of this miracle!

Sunday, December 14, 2008

... and holding ...

... 30 weeks and 1 day ....

Never, in my WILDEST dreams, did I ever think I would be at this place in my life.
I still find it hard to believe that we are pregnant!!! I think Ive been so damaged from our past losses that I cant even fathom that we will be welcoming a new life into this world ... SOON!!

We are so very thankful for this blessing. We are not taking a moment of this for granted. I thank God every day and night for this opportunity. We are just in awe of the experience!

We had our last "baby class" this weekend. It was Birth Preparation (breathing, relaxation techniques, what to expect, etc). Very informative! Now we are both VERY excited for the next step - LABOR!!

I am hoping for a drug-free natural childbirth ... but am keeping my mind open since you never know what will happen. I just really want to experience EVERYTHING and not miss anything. If I get drugged up I'm scared that I will be numb to part of the beauty of birth. I'm also TERRIFIED that labor will feel like my past miscarriages and bring back all those horrible feelings to the surface. I suppose I'll just have to wait and see how it goes...

All I know for sure is that since this pregnancy was completely unexpected we can't be sure that it will happen again. Because this will probably be our only shot at a biological child we must TREASURE every second. In these circumstances I am thankful for the enlightenment that my previous losses have given me. Had I not experienced the losses then I would probably not be cherishing every moment as I have been doing. Every ache, pain, twinge, creak, discomfort, nauseousness, etc. I LOVE THEM ALL! It makes me feel alive with life!!!

I feel so sad when I talk with pregnant women that complain about the experience. It reinforces to me that people that have never experienced loss or life in the "Land of IF" have NO IDEA the extent of the gift they have been given! Well, I shouldn't say all of them ... I'm sure there are a few out there that realize how lucky they are .... (I hope!).. unfortunately the ones I have been in contact with recently are clueless!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Holding our breath...

22wks and 4 days .... and counting .....

I have been holding my breath for months now .... but everything is progressing beautifully!
Im still terrified but hopeful. I dont think that the fear of MC will ever go away... I mean how could it! It ruled my life for so many years ... it has become a part of me ...

I feel her move frequently throughout the day ... but it still seems surreal.... like its happening to someone else ... (We didnt want to know gender but the Dr slipped and told us ... its a GIRL!!!!)

I just keep praying that she continues to grow strong and healthy (Dr estimates she's 1 lb 11 inches now) and I keep thanking God for all the blessings in my life. We have been blessed beyond measure ....

Friday, August 08, 2008

Something I thought Id never see again ...

Well, our world has turned upside down again ....
Shortly after posting my last post ... this happened ...

Yep - it's true..... OMG !!!!!

We decided to keep it quiet, with my miscarriage history who could blame us ... besides, we have this amazing little boy in Colombia waiting for us to finalize adoption paperwork!

This week everything changed.... Ive had 2 Dr's tell me that it is too risky for me to travel to Colombia for the adoption - and one of Colombia's requirements is that both parents travel to the country.

Where does that leave us .... well, we have one of two options ... 1) we can return the referral and let him be adopted by someone else or 2) we can wait a few weeks and see if I M/C. If I don't M/C in the next few weeks we'd have to return the referral anyway.

THIS IS SO HARD!! He has already had to wait for so long because our immigration paperwork is taking forever - what right do we have to make him wait longer ... and then not even be sure if we can adopt him anyway (since I cant travel). Our social worker has given us the weekend to decide what we want to do .... what would you do?

ps - If Im still pregnant tomorrow it will mark the longest pregnancy Ive had so far.... (12 wks is my record)

Monday, June 09, 2008


So much has happened - I just dont know where to start ..... my mind is focused on one thing and only one thing ....

We received a referral last Wednesday ... and have officially accepted!!!!

We have been blessed beyond measure!!!

(I will write more later when I can actually think straight!)

Friday, May 23, 2008

Hola Colombia

WOW - Things sure can change in a matter of days ...

On May 8th I got an email from our Peru program coordinator telling us that she mentioned us to an orphanage in Colombia ... and they were so intrigued that they wanted to hear more. They asked her to send them our home-study (which is still for domestic) and they loved it! They immediately asked her to ask us if we would be interested in applying to their orphanage. Our program coordinator assured us that it would be a quicker process with Colombia (apparently there are some issues between the US & Peru right now) and that the committee at the orphanage really seemed to like us (my DH is bilingual; he's an ESL teacher!)

Well ... we decided to pursue an adoption in Colombia with this orphanage.

Lots has happened since then ... they seem very anxious for us to get our approval from USCIS (we are too) .... and so we wait ....

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

FBI Clearance

Today is a very happy day for us -
we received FBI clearance to adopt from Peru today!
This may not sound like a big deal BUT IT IS!!! :-)
This brings us one step closer to our child.

Next step is USCIS. We're just waiting for an updated home-study from our SW and then we can submit everything to immigration. (and then wait some more .... UGH!)

Even though this process seems to be taking forever ... I am trying to celebrate each and every milestone ... and today was a doosie!

We are on cloud-9! This is such a blessing!!!